A Very Unlucky Servant
by BatBImagination
Summary: You have to know that some household objects might not be so nice to turn into, right? I tried to keep this as low as possible on the grossometer, but you might not want to read this while eating. This is a oneshot.


*****Disclaimer: I do not own Beauty and the Beast or its characters. Copyright owned by Disney.*****

I sat in the corner of the large bedroom. It was a guest room, and it hadn't been occupied in years. Last time anyone used it was before the spell was cast. And, I was frankly glad that nobody had used this room, because that means they would have use for me. And, while, being a servant I always have been used to, well, having a use, in my enchanted state there was only one use for me, and one I didn't relish the thought of anyone having need for.

You see, when the spell was cast that turned the master into a Beast and all the servants into household objects, I became a chamber pot.

You know what that is, right? No? Well, I suppose I'll tell you. It's what people had in their bedrooms, in the era this all happened, long before indoor plumbing. Now, you typically only see one in specific rooms, as they're not so portable because of technological advances...you may know it as a toilet.

Yes, that's right, a chamber pot is basically a very low-tech toilet.

I'm sure you now understand why I hoped never to be used. If you don't, I'm afraid I can't help you.

It was, however, very boring in that room. Most days I spent talking with Madame De La Grand Bouche, who became a wardrobe. Sometimes one of the other servants would come in and let us know about the castle happenings, and that's how we found out about the man that the master had taken captive and was holding in the dungeon.

Suddenly, the door opened and a young woman walked in. The master ordered her to come to dinner and slammed the door. She flung herself on the bed and sobbed. I wasn't sure exactly what happened. But I found out about an hour later when Mrs. Potts, her son Chip, and a couple of his siblings came in to offer her some tea.

"That was a very brave thing you did my dear." Mrs. Potts said warmly. Madame agreed.

"But I've lost my father, my dreams, everything..." The girl said sadly.

I wondered what this all could mean, but soon put two and two together. The old man must have been her father, and she must have taken his place. Very brave indeed.

I wondered if this could be the girl to break the spell. I suddenly had a strong hope that she would before having to take care of certain bodily functions.

After Mrs. Potts the teapot left with Chip the teacup, Claudette the sugar bowl, and Antoinette the cream pitcher, Madame got out a dress for the girl to wear to dinner. The girl said she wasn't going to dinner, and held her ground even when Madame protested. She continued to refuse when Cogsworth, the head butler turned mantel clock came in to announce dinner. And, the stubborn girl continued to refuse when the master himself came to her door and threw a very scary tantrum. I was glad he gave up and stormed off before storming in. Madame tried to encourage the girl, who had introduced herself as Belle, to get to know the Master, but she wanted nothing to do with him.

Great. Looks like we'll all be cursed forever, and now that she's the prisoner and in this room, looks like I'll have to do some dirty work. Literally.

And then it happened.

"Madame De La Grande Bouche?" Belle asked.

"Yes?"

"I...um...well, would there happen to be a chamber pot anywhere?"

I cringed.

"Oh, yes there is." Madame said, gesturing to me with one of her doors. "Avery is over there in that corner.

Thanks Madame.

"Avery?" Belle looked at me and took a tentative step forward. "You mean...the chamber pot is...alive too?"

"Yes, I'm alive too. I'm afraid I didn't get out of being animate." I said. "I'm Avery. Nice to meet you, Mademoiselle."

It was nice to meet her, though what she was about to do...not so nice.

"Pleasure to meet you, too." Belle knelt down in front of me. "I'm Belle."

I bowed to her, as much as a chamber pot could bow.

"I...um...are there any inanimate chamber pots? I really would hate to do this too you."

"I'm afraid not." I said, not quite as pleasantly as I meant it. "Please, just get on with it."

Belle took care of her needs. And yes, just in case you were wondering, being a living chamber pot that someone uses is as gross, disgusting, and positively undignified as it sounds. Honestly, it's more so.

Belle hurriedly dumped my contents out her window, using a towel she found to wipe out any residue. I thought that was very kind of her. Fortunately for the towel, the linens were inanimate, never having been human.

While Belle stayed at the castle during the enchantment, I found her quite pleasant. Even if what came out of her wasn't.

I must say, though, I was very happy when she broke the spell, making us all human again. All of us were, but I doubt there were too many servants happier than I was.


End file.
